November News

What we are calling the beginning is often the end,
And to make an end is to make a beginning.
The end is where we start from…

And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.

T.S. Elliot

The other day Mrs. Yanagi came over to my house around dinner time. She asked at the door, “Have you had dinner yet? Good, because I brought some pasta and things and it will only take a minute to prepare. I will make dinner for you.” She came in, cleaned my kitchen and made me delicious pasta and grilled spinach and mushroom soup. We ate together and then she said, “It must get lonely living here all by yourself.”

“I does, but you know, sometimes I like being alone.” I said. “Oh I do too,” she said, “But when my last child leaves, I think I will want to come over here more often.”


I’ve started Holosync a few days ago. Holosync is music that helps you meditate. It uses a special kind of technology to put the mind into different natural states of consciousness (roughly alpha, theta, and delta states, which represent relaxed, dreaming, and sleep states) but while the person is totally awake. I’ll keep you posted on what happens.

New kick-ass music: cinema dub monks, world’s end girlfriend, the new ween, iron and wine, mum, saul williams, and cinematic orchestra. If I were you I'd listen to the Cinematic Orchestra’s Song “To build a home” right now. The link is to the right.



In order to free up more space on my computer, I recently tried condensing my itunes library by sorting the songs by play count and then deleting albums and songs at the bottom (with zero play counts). I found a lot of great, lost music that I forgot I even had, and I couldn't delete shit. Same thing happens with my pictures. I have thousands and thousands and thousands of pictures I never look at, nor ever will, because the beauty and new experiences keep coming to me every day, and I keep taking more and more new and better pictures. Maybe I’m keeping the pictures because I think I will forget, or I think I might one day need to publish a photography book or enter a contest or something silly like that. Of course I keep a lot of photos for painting references, but still...what am I holding onto the thousands of forgotten photos for? The summer before I came to Japan my computer broke after I uploaded all my photos from an amazing road trip across America. That hurt. But I got a few pics from the friends I went with, and all the "award winning pictures" I took I really don’t miss, nor did I miss out an any photo contest I might have been saving them for.

And my writing. I have 12 books saved on my computer I swear to god. What am I keeping all that writing for? My book? Of course, I do really enjoy looking at old essays I wrote in college. Reading what your past mind produced is a powerful spiritual practice. Keeping a dream journal is beneficial, sure. But letting go of old stuff is also beneficial and a powerful spiritual practice, yes?

I’ve been listening to Eckhart Tolle’s “A New Earth” and it is really very good. He reminded me the other day that I am only ever really aware of one breath. I look to see if that is true, and my mind stills and becomes very lucid. Suddenly, the eternal now fills my every pour and purpose. I am nothing but this presence, nor can I ever be apart from it, of course. I am eternal. And that does not mean that I existed a long time ago and will exist forever. It means that deep down I exist outside of the dimension of time altogether. I exist Now, and only Now, and the Now is timeless.


Paul Lonely’s book “Suicide Dictionary” is now available to buy (remember, Michael Garfield wrote the afterward, and I’m involved in constructing the illuminated version). Anyone interested in poetry, religion, mysticism, or integral anything will love this book.

You know, life is a dream, but a dream full of friends, and our community of caring light bodies cannot take in or give away enough love. We delight in each other, and torture and tease, and there is infinity behind your eyes, and in front of them, and I send you all more. It just started to rain, and the view from my window is covered in wet, gray light, laughter, and love. I need to go buy some trash bags.

Pictured: My friend Masa, Mai's new kitten he found in the street, a pic of my town and Pagoda Kindergarten, and views from my porch. That is Mt. Ishizuchi, the highest mountain in western Japan.









"You won't get there then if you're not here now." Surya Das