As a Painter

 Two new biofilm studies. I'm still trying to figure out my thesis.

Bacteria. We are in them as much as they is in us (one to ten ratio, us to them, "within" every body!). We depend on each other; it's symbiosis everywhere! Also, in the myths we came from mud, from muck. From LUCA. We came from a rock (panspermia). Or from the geomagnetic field around the third rock from the sun. We came from angels, precipitated from subtler energy constelations singing mathematics throughout the universes; we are lightbeams from source, from self, from origin. We are witnesses and phase-spaces. We are spaces. As an artist, I have to know the artist legend, that we have insight into something relevant, some truth and vision that is practical. Maybe we perceive other realms or systems and things, not in words, and maybe we just remember things, from deep time, voices, experiences, movements. Artists can see how poetry accelerates imagination and catharsis. They know creative gestalts always are at play, and that the mind makes connections. They know communication beneath/beyond words is "truer" in a sense...? I have no idea. I suspect my art and passion is about imaginary landscapes and imagined communities that are also always 'real' and embodied, I don't quite know yet. But I do know that it is important to be an artist. True, "everyone is an artist," but some of us are formally trained and expected to perform...musicians, god, hours and hours of learning the trade, the magic. "Realism" is a common stereotype for the products of visual and theatrical artists. It is expected. And the word realism, apart from any art historical context, has an intersting point with regards to all art. And most artists are 'real'; blunt, they get to the point, and are not afraid to go anywhere. Maybe the artists are mediums like psychics and people use them to heal themselves, I don't kno, but artists are not afraid of the dark. They go into the caves. Always have. They conjour up voices. The "dark" can be pain, suffering, or it can be the unknown, the mystery, voidness, death. It can be the subconscious, the body, subjectivation, the real. Spending more time in the dark, the artist's eyes ajust and they can see more of the darkness, and more of the subtle light, than others. That is the story. This refined vision of 'isness' (what Huxley says ordinary people need mescaline in order to achieve) refers to something the artist is born with, I guess. My parents always knew it. But does that mean they created it? It could also be caused by a connection to a specific memory or powerful dream (like an MLK "I have a dream" dream), or maybe just a deep connection with other beings. As an artist I feel driven to explore the world, all of it, my body included, and then paint in love. I have no idea why but I must, and am encouraged by my community to do so, thank God! I think it has something to do with alleviating suffering and building community, at least I pray it does. Artists, trained or self-proclaimed, are not the only ones who have access to the "real," to creativity or the darkness and the light, (or to the myths and systems behind systems, the imaginative quality of perception, or to ecstasy because the artistic, creative spirit (love) and nondual flow is behind all acts. We, all of Us, are always already dreaming and creating dream worlds, even now, right? However, there is a cultural place-an identity and imagined community-for the "artist" (performer, dancer, musician, writer, sculptor). We have our own archetype, our own place in the world. Shaman? Magician? Trickster? Healer? Critic? Journalist? Story Teller? Musician? Dancer? Carpenter? We had a crazy art-school house part last Saturday night, oh man! Weirdo art school kids are my people, getting down and dirty.  We talk about death, sex, and stuff. It's so cool.