Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Margot and David

Sorry about the typos. I'm updating using my iPhone.
The word for poop in Japanese is "unko" which sounds just like "uncle," so the kids laugh when I tell them the news.

I am now a poop!!!

Usually I feel like the only one left out of family events, but this most important one met my other sisters through the telephone as well. It was a mutual miss, and we bonded deeply in the simple fact that we were both missing out--a strange way to bond, isn't it? But is was meaningful on my end, that's for sure.

But actually, where we lack the physical experience and memory of “being there,” with the family, we had a very deep and powerful internal experience of tears and emotions and thoughts, one that was maybe freer than the others. We got to feel everything in our own way alone and not performing socially at all. Maybe that's a silly idea.

But oh man, when I called Martha to get an update she was bawling hysterically. Prepanic began to tornado my mind, my heart began to race, and then she managed to spit out, “I’m crying because I’m so happy!” I looked up at the sky. “It’s a boy and a girl!”

"Yes! Yay! You Knew It!" Bubba called Martha from the hospital room, Martha told me, and then I updated my status on facebook, which my family and friends were monitoring. In this way, people all over the country knew about the news before the people in the waiting room did!

I my mind I can see my dad's beaming face, and I can hear my mom’s total tears, and I can hear my aunts' and uncles' voices, and see their beautiful faces, and god I wanted to be there! Damn Japan. But first, of course, I was ecstatic. cloud nine. After I hung up the phone with Martha I suddenly had a desire to work out, so I did push-ups (probably to repress the scream of JOY that wanted to release itself from my body. Even alone in Japan, no screaming aloud. Sudden screaming is only aloud where nobody can hear you and worry about you.)

Yes! Yay! Everything has changed! New responsibilities, new projects to complete. Almost all my family members have said to me,“Now you have an even better reason to come back home!” It goes without saying, the fist grandchild (初孫)"hatsumago", is a big deal, but those two little angels are not the only reason I want to come home. I miss everything.

I wanted to be there so bad this morning!!!! I wonder if my cousin Liz knew that when she emailed and invited me to meditate with her during the birth. I really appreciated that. It hit me deep, since meditating together with another person is a very real way to reside in that place where you both do meet, that spaceless center deep in the heart. Thanks to her, we were both (t)here, in spaceless, timeless spirit. That was awesome.

So yeah, I had an interesting unclem "poop" experience. I can't wait to hear about everyone else's!!!


Mark Harman said...

I just realized the banner pic you have is from when I visited :-)

David said...

Yup, that's you standing in the tunnle of gates in Kyoto.

Alicia Cox said...


your thought about social performing is not stupid at all; in fact, it causes anxiety in lots of people. that is very interesting about how you can't scream in japan--how compassion is institutionally/socially more significant than individual liberty. i like it.

May all beings be Free and in Love.

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