Graduation

Today i went to one of my school's Graduation. It was really sad. Most everyone cried, even the “tough” kids. The ceremony was essentially identical to ours; except it took place in the middle of the school day. And, of course, the fact that it was Middle School and not high school. In Japan, after Middle school you are done. Although most kids go to high school. And to get into high school there are interviews and entrance examinations. It is so different form our system. Another example: middle school and highschoolers done have lockers but instead have homerooms (like our grade school) and the teachers move around from class to class.

Anyway, the ceremony lasted maybe an hour and a half. And it was quite painful for me because my back hurt from I have no idea what, but I think it might have to do with quitting caffeine four days ago. I quit cold turkey-no chocolate, coffee, or tea. I got offered all three of those things this morning at school. I have been caffeinated for the past ten years or so, so I thought I would quit for a month and see what happens. So far, my back hurts, and my arms and legs are a bit sore too. and i really miss my morning cup. im drinking lots of hot water. sometimes i can imagine that the hot water is coffee or green tea and for a second it actually kind of tastes like it. Anyway!

After the graduation ceremony we all went outside to wave goodbye to the graduates, much like we did in collage. I wanted to hang out with the kids I like most, since, you know, I will never see them again probably, and of course, they could care less about me. They were busy enjoying each other. I felt left out! But then again, when did I ever hang out with my cool Japanese teachers in high school? I wonder if ever longed longed to hang out with me and my friends. But I found myself attached to so many of the students. I can’t imagine what it must be like to be a real teacher
And have to lose your kids every year! Yikes! I guess today was good practice
For when my parents and friends all die. We all have to let go eventually. We will even have to let go of our own bodies and minds. Life is full of this kind of suffering. The suffering of losing the ones you love. I was also brought back to my own graduation, then to to my life in high school, then middles school, then I though about how I will never be that again. At the same time as I was thinking all these lonely, nostalgic, existential thoughts about the fleetingness of my life, spring arrived, blooming the early cherry blossoms, her warm winds and sunshine covered the parking lot in spring blanket of friendliness and tears. Im going to go for a walk.