Thursday, November 22, 2007

Thanks Giving

I’m listening to the Allegri’s Misarere.

Miss you already.
My family has a little salutation we use. It’s “Miss you already.” The Japanese do not have “to miss” in their vocabulary. They use the word “sadness” or “I want to see you” (lit. “meet want!”)” to mean the same thing. But they don't have the word “miss”. So "miss you already” in Japanese is “I’m already sad” or “I already want to see you.”

To already miss someone, even when they are still with you, is a strange, but profound feeling. It is a true feeling, and it is painful, and is rooted in the illusion of time and separation, looking into the future and feeling that “future sadness” in the now. This might be seen as silly, but it arises nonetheless. Feeling it fully is getting in touch with a pain that you know will come soon; it’s preparing for that storm.

“Are you ready?” In Japanese this expression is literally “could you make preparations?”

I think about the death of my parents, or of my sisters and loved ones. I think about the death of my body and finally my mind. I miss you already. I'm already sad.

When the time comes, one thing will become increasingly important: Could you make the preparations? Did you prepare yourself for this moment you knew, from the beginning, would one day come? Are you prepared?

How to prepare for death (yours or another’s) is explained in many ways, including economic and religious. Ram Dass explains that the best way to be ready for that moment is by being more fully involved in this one.

I believe that one reason we argue is because we identify as a position (or as an “I” that holds such a position), and in the same way we will protect our physical body, we will protect this mental body to the death. If we loose, if we are wrong, that part of us that was so determined and behind a mental position will have to die, and we don't want any part of us to die. We don't want our friends and family or body or mind to die, and so, we will fight, and argue, and reduce the richness and fleeting preciousness of this short life to a silly argument of loveless cruelty and futile suffering. What really matters is that the person you are arguing with is on their way to their death bed. When you are talking with someone, keep in mind that they are dying. Time is precious, as is love, and we are only here together for a very, very short time.

Which brings me to Thanks Giving.

Thanksgiving is a time for giving thanks, (duh). We want and want and want all the time. Today, give. Give thanks. Extend the circle of your loving beyond the borders of your body. Acknowledge another person’s being, and in doing so; recognize the “I am” in them that is the same “I am” in you. Connect with another person today, and give them thanks. In Japanese, this day is called “Kansha sai” which mean “Appreciation day” and the same character is used to mean, “to apologize.”

Think about what you have with deep appreciation, and don't get caught in self-centered arguments that increase the suffering in yourself and others. Not today.

Arguments abort the baby thanksgiving and leave a lifeless mess on the table.

The poll:
Out of 40 people who read my blog, 42% felt heterosexual, 15% felt homosexual, 5% felt bisexual, 10% pomosexual, 5% asexual, 7% pansuxual or omnisexual, 30% felt simply sexual, and 10% felt something other.

Does this surprise you? There seems to be indeed a spectrum of sexual orientations, not just homosexual and heterosexual. The question was “what sexual orientation do you feel at the moment?”, and so that is why I think only 5% felt bisexual. If someone is sexualy active with both genders, that doesn't mean they are attracted to both at the same time.

And that’s one thing I wanted to point out. Each moment can contain a different kind of sexuality. Someone who identifies as “heterosexual” might be feeling non-sexual at the moment actually, and when they look for their sexual orientation, they can’t find an authentic one anywhere. other.

This weekend I'm off on a pilgrimage to Mt. Koya again (thousand-year-old cedar forest covered in tombs). I'm going with some dear friends and meeting Yasuchika there as well. happy happy.


lau said...

i am jealous! i miss koya!

Anonymous said...

It's interesting to consider language as an interface with how the mind conceptualizes reality. Like the examples you gave of Japanese language, the limitations of its interface (grammar, syntax and lexicon) create or influence our concepts of reality. When one lays interface upon interface (learning a second language) it's akin to adding a new layer of conceptualization of reality. When we can mix the two, we create a new interface, an integral interface. It's all expansive, all the time.

I miss you in Japanese I learned as: あなたに会えなくて寂しい。今、デェビットに会えなくて寂しいよ。夢を見るまでね。

May all beings be Free and in Love.

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