a little something

I have a lot to say for this update. Much has happened in this world, and I have seen many patterns and plays of light, like the crescent moon hanging above the clouds, I saw a line of wet spider webs hanging like lace from the telephone lines, web after web, twenty glittering crescent smiles on a long electric necklace, ive never seen that before, and at a halloween party in takamatsu I saw beautiful drag queens bring together the genders and shout laughter into the mess. I’ll have pictures and a new movie posted shortly.

One queen was actually a man dressed up as a woman dressed up as a man. Amazing acting skills to pull that off. But she/he was probably just being themselves. Queens are so important i think. The men dressed up as women were so realistic. They looked like beautiful queens and princesses. (and the Japanese man is already very feminine, so the illusion was perfect, as some of you can imagine). But, at the same time, many of them spoke in low, masculine voices, with confident funny personalities, which must have been attractive to everyone. Everyone had a great time. Drag queens help erase the gender lines and in a way actually bring the two sexes together, while also playing with and making fun of homophobia and gender roles.

I learned that light rays coming down from clouds are sometimes called ”angle stairs” in Japanese. “Tenshinokaidan.” I learned about the power of confidence because I began biking without using my hands by faking it, thinking, “I can do this!” and just let go and peddled on.
I wore a skeleton mask to school on Halloween and as I was greeting the children coming into school (they all loved it and laughed) one of the teachers looked livid and told the teacher standing next to me (she must have thought I couldn't understand any Japanese) “he cannot where that at school! Tell the Principal to come out here and tell him to take it off!” She was furious! The other teacher then simply turned to me and said (in Japanese) you really cant have that on out here.” I took it off and said it was because of Halloween, and he said, “Bunka wa chigaine” which means “Our cultures are different, aren’t they.” Poo.

I’m rereading Integral Spirituality right now. And, Rick Winfry is visiting me today! I could pee my pants im so excited to see him.

Old stuff from my journal

Here is a “Placement Prayer to reorient yourself” I wrote a while ago.

The more I can feel, the more I can live and be human, the more human God gets to be. I am here so that the whole of creation can feel and see itself though my subjectivity. I am here so that God (the All) can become conscious through a human nerosystem, an evolving nerosystem and consciousness co-creating Spirit's body. That is how important I am.

The sky will always silence me dumb. My thoughts cannot compete with hers. Sky being, the luminous sky womb of clear light, I never get tired of staring at you. Whey is that? It must be that I mix with that spaciousness, my mind mirrors her mind, and I mix with that spaciousness.

Let Go
Mountains, meat, beggars, lepers, kings and horses, flowers and frogs…anything that can be thought of are identical in their impermanence, for they change and disintegrate from moment to moment. Let them go. even our oppinions come and go. let them go too. With every breath we race toward death, the target for the arrow of our life. And Death is indeed a great letting go. But you don't have to wait till your actual physical death to profoundly let go of your own grasping and clinging in this moment. IN fact, by releasing your hold on everything, on your body, on your ideas and opinions, on your desires and dreams, by exhaling and just letting all things the arise go away and away and away, you find a stillness that doesn't change.

skeleton tea cups and stickers

Well, I went to a Halloween party dressed up like a skeleton (but deep down aren’t we all skeletons). And it was very fun, except that used these markers that are skin ok on my face and I felt the toxins kind of seeping in all day. That sucked.
Then, that night, I went to an exhibit this old man I met at my exhibit was having in Niihama. He is a famous, FAMOUS potter in Japan, making teacups, and, I kid you not, his cups sell for thousands. I guess he is the only living master using techniques a thousand years old in Japan. So, .see that cp in my hand, that is a $70,000 teacup I got to drink out of. I won’t lie; it felt amazing in my hands. The perfect weight. It was rough and smooth, I wanted to touch it for hours, and look at all the subtle colors…the thing seemed to glow. The tiny cup I’m holding in my fingers is valued at $5,000. Amazing, yeah? Also pictured are some other tea cups, all above 50 thousand, and some funny stickers I’ve found on students’ pencil cases.

new tree painting

"David Titterington's work is a subdued play between understated mood and fantastic imagery. His scenes harbor quiet hints and familiar symbols, inviting the viewer to a second look. Unique perspectives and curious elements abound. Despite this presence of the extraordinary, Titterington's works stand out as creations of delicate and subtle inspiration."

-Kyle Youngblom
Integral Naked Gallery Curator

Matsuri!

A violent river of irresponsibility, drug abuse, fights, cruelty. The Saijo Matsuri was a nightmare for some, heaven for others. My experience was posed somewhere in between, feeling the pleasure and the pain, the wonder and the disbelief. Early Sunday morning I helped carry a danjiri; one that had no tires. First of all, I must say that I was moved deeply by the constant current of kindness and care accompanying me the entire night and morning. My danjiri team was unrelenting in their kindness; my arumikappu runneth over.
And there were times during the journey up to Isono shrine that were absolutely amazing. In the deepest moments of exhaustion, when the pain in my back and shoulders screamed for me to stop, I fell into a kind of savage surrender and ecstatic submission to the pulse and power of the danjiri—the drum beating the single heart of the community carrying its body. I looked around me and thought, “this might suck, but at least we are all in it together!” You know that feeling? That feeling of connection, of real connection through pain or accomplishment? That feeling still hums deep inside my belly. If there is a Spirit, I think it can definitely be found in that feeling of connection, in that shared space of “we” or “us.” In Saijo I swam in that space, and felt the freedom and fullness of opening up beyond myself and into that shared space, that team spirit, that We, that Us.
I also felt the danjiri work as a magnet drawing my attention into the timeless present moment, sizzling and pulsing with feelings and friends, all singing and stumbling down the street in drunken fun and play and delight. But there was also spite, agony, and anger. I saw too many girls crying or passed out, overdosed and draped carelessly across the side of the road. I saw one girl with a bloody face lying in the gutter. I saw fights break out. I saw what looked like rape; two girls passed out in a harvested rice field being touched and fondled by an older man, in the daylight, with the festival moving along right beside them. I felt like walking over and punching the pervert in his face. It was horrible, and wonderful: the Saijo Matsuri.
The Niihama festival wasn't nearly as drunk or dramatic. Or, at least, not in the same way. I helped carry the Matsugisakai taikodai on Tuesday, and since there were 150 to 200 men with me (as apposed to the twelve men carrying the danjiri) the kindness, community, and care were gone, but were replaced with a larger communal heart thumping to the beat of a louder drum. The grunting and chanting and energy was amplified ten fold. And so was the danger. Our takodai’s entrance into the park was actually delayed by an ambulance screaming to get through. We waited in silence.
During the last competition, our taikodai won! We held our float above our heads for almost seven minutes! I thought my shoulders were going to dislocate! When it was over we all burst into an exhausted cheer, clapping and high-fiving each other.
The next day at Ikku shrine I saw an old man fall in front of a charging taikodai—the worst thing that could have happened in that moment. It was very scary. Once a taikodai begins to move, it can’t be stopped. Everyone screamed and frantically kicked and grabbed the old man, who just kept stumbling. In the end, right before he was lost beneath the stampede, he was actually thrown out of the way and into the crowd. The old man stumbled to his feet and surprisingly seemed quite happy, his eyes twinkling.
The Niihama taikodai: golden storms adorned with dragons dragging everyone together, the entire city, ushered together to celebrate…what? The harvest? To celebrate the gods? Perhaps, but I felt that it was really to celebrate community. To cheer each other on. To get drunk together and admire what we can accomplish when we are motivated.
Both festivals had extremes, angles and demons, compassion and cruelty. I guess the festival was a perfect manifestation of the wide spectrum of our humanity, its power, and its horrors. I close my eyes; shake my head to what horrible things I saw. But I also try to remember the goodness and care I witnessed flowing throughout the streets of Saijo and Niihama during this intense and incredible week.