a little something

I have a lot to say for this update. Much has happened in this world, and I have seen many patterns and plays of light, like the crescent moon hanging above the clouds, I saw a line of wet spider webs hanging like lace from the telephone lines, web after web, twenty glittering crescent smiles on a long electric necklace, ive never seen that before, and at a halloween party in takamatsu I saw beautiful drag queens bring together the genders and shout laughter into the mess. I’ll have pictures and a new movie posted shortly.

One queen was actually a man dressed up as a woman dressed up as a man. Amazing acting skills to pull that off. But she/he was probably just being themselves. Queens are so important i think. The men dressed up as women were so realistic. They looked like beautiful queens and princesses. (and the Japanese man is already very feminine, so the illusion was perfect, as some of you can imagine). But, at the same time, many of them spoke in low, masculine voices, with confident funny personalities, which must have been attractive to everyone. Everyone had a great time. Drag queens help erase the gender lines and in a way actually bring the two sexes together, while also playing with and making fun of homophobia and gender roles.

I learned that light rays coming down from clouds are sometimes called ”angle stairs” in Japanese. “Tenshinokaidan.” I learned about the power of confidence because I began biking without using my hands by faking it, thinking, “I can do this!” and just let go and peddled on.
I wore a skeleton mask to school on Halloween and as I was greeting the children coming into school (they all loved it and laughed) one of the teachers looked livid and told the teacher standing next to me (she must have thought I couldn't understand any Japanese) “he cannot where that at school! Tell the Principal to come out here and tell him to take it off!” She was furious! The other teacher then simply turned to me and said (in Japanese) you really cant have that on out here.” I took it off and said it was because of Halloween, and he said, “Bunka wa chigaine” which means “Our cultures are different, aren’t they.” Poo.

I’m rereading Integral Spirituality right now. And, Rick Winfry is visiting me today! I could pee my pants im so excited to see him.

Old stuff from my journal

Here is a “Placement Prayer to reorient yourself” I wrote a while ago.

The more I can feel, the more I can live and be human, the more human God gets to be. I am here so that the whole of creation can feel and see itself though my subjectivity. I am here so that God (the All) can become conscious through a human nerosystem, an evolving nerosystem and consciousness co-creating Spirit's body. That is how important I am.

The sky will always silence me dumb. My thoughts cannot compete with hers. Sky being, the luminous sky womb of clear light, I never get tired of staring at you. Whey is that? It must be that I mix with that spaciousness, my mind mirrors her mind, and I mix with that spaciousness.

Let Go
Mountains, meat, beggars, lepers, kings and horses, flowers and frogs…anything that can be thought of are identical in their impermanence, for they change and disintegrate from moment to moment. Let them go. even our oppinions come and go. let them go too. With every breath we race toward death, the target for the arrow of our life. And Death is indeed a great letting go. But you don't have to wait till your actual physical death to profoundly let go of your own grasping and clinging in this moment. IN fact, by releasing your hold on everything, on your body, on your ideas and opinions, on your desires and dreams, by exhaling and just letting all things the arise go away and away and away, you find a stillness that doesn't change.