Last day in Lawrence

My last morning in Lawrence: I woke up at 6:30 to meet Eli for meditation. Taking out the trash, I saw him walking down the alleyway, and I was so happy. We met, hugged, commented on teh beautiful light, walked to the front porch, did sun salutations, and then sat in meditation for an hour. After which we did some singing, dedicaiton, and then finfished by sitting quietly, listing to the drizzle of the new rain. it sounded like an ocean lapping the shore atop the leaves, I felt like I must be hallucinating the sound was so peaceful and vast.
We climbed a tree, and then went upstairs to wake up Molly. We all cuddled in bed for a few minutes, then left to meet Alicia and her wife Stephanie for breakfast, after which we all came back to my house and cleaned. And danced. Molly swept my entire room three times, and Eli got off work to spend the day helping me clean my bathroom and move everything into my car. I love my friends.

The night before there was a humongous vegetarian potluck at my house. So many people showed. People i didnt think would. People i am so fuckn glad i got to see again. That night I felt so good. So loved. So blessed. And the food was truly extraordinary.Nick brought these stuffed peppers, and there was pie and brownies, a fruit salad, pastas, so much great food.

The drum circle exploded when Laura’s 18-month-old baby Celeste began drumming, sitting like all of us on a tiny baby-sized djimbe. Other highlights of the night were Sara Dees performing solo on her cello, playing it like a guitar and singing like an angel. She made the night very special. She sounded divine. Divine. I closed my eyes and thought I was listening to some amazing new album on my stereo. Then, Dru accompanied her on his saxophone and their sound like rain cleaned out the room. Sam performed fire dancing outside, amazing us all. But those were just easy events to pinpoint. The subtle stuff, that is, the hugs, the smiles, the presence people gave me, the subtle current of care that flowed throughout the hole house, well, I felt like I was swimming in an ocean of love. The night was perfect, a perfect going away gift from everyone. I couldn’t have asked for more. Everyone made the night so special. I felt so loved, and so close to tears of joy. And sadness.
Last day in Kansas City, josh brought coffee over in the morning. Charlie helped me run some final errands, and to my enjoyment, Alicia, Stephanie, and Katy met me at the airport.

I’m in Chicago now. I leave for Tokyo tomorrow morning. I don’t know what I feel. Will I really not see anyone for the next couple years? Am I actually moving to Japan? Is this really happening? Did I really have a going away party? What the hell is going on!? I must be dreaming.