Monday, July 17, 2006

“An adventure is something you wish wasn’t happening at the time.”

Well, boy did i have an adventure the other night, I tell you what!
IT all started after i saw a choir of highshool Israeli girls sing amazing music at the culture center. I was already really tired from Jackie’s Farwell party the night before (not much sleep) and for some strange reason I decided to accept the invitation to dance in Takamatsu the next night with a couple friends. SO, after the concert, at 8:30 i met Shun and GJ at GJ’s used clothing store and we took the two hour drive to Takamatsu.
The club we arrived at was called “Nude” and tonight was “bikini night.” Lots of people, really good music. Everyone there was given flashing light stickers to put on their bodies. I had a great time up until my friends called me over to talk.
“Hey, do you want to have sex tonight?” they asked me. Shocked, but also a little interested and amused at what they had in mind, I said “sure? Where?” then shun said “wait a moment.” They left me and I was kind of struck dumb at what I was getting myself into.
They didn’t come back.
I quickly looked around the large club and, when I couldn’t find them, I just figured they ditched me to go to a love hotel with a couple girls they met. No big deal, they will be back in an hour or so.
4 AM. The sun s coming up. I’m tired and a little worried my friends will not come back. I want to rest but outside is so hot and buggy and inside is loud and smoky. 5 o’clock I finally see Shun. Yes, I think. We can go home now.
Shun said that they went to another party and saw the couple who I wanted to see, the two who bought the drawing of the cicada. I said shit why didn’t you take me and he just kind of said oh, sorry and told me that if I want to sleep I can sleep in the car and he will be out in a minute. I go out there but I cant sleep, the car is hot and the sun is up. 6 o’clock, him and GJ leave the club with a very drunk girl who I met last time in Takamatsyu. She is actually very kind and beautiful. We leave and begin searching for what i thought was her appartment. “where are we going?” I asked, eager to get home or go someplace to sleep.

“A place to sleep” said the girl in the back seat giving directions. Oh good. We enter into a love hotel neighborhood. Im excited because I haven’t been to one yet. Love hotels are cheap hotels that are actually quite nice and charge by the hour. I was surprised that it was so hard to find one with vacancies. Shun turned to me and said “hey, you might still get some action tonight!” I’m thinking he is joking, I mean, we are all so tired, and this beautiful girl in the back seat can barley walk. When we get into the parking lot, we all get out of the car. GJ and Shun exchange some words and then Shun looks to me and says “Sorry, David. You can’t come. Sleep in the car.” It turns out they were planning on having sex together with this girl all night, and the girl didn’t know me well enough so she didnt want me there. I find this hard to believe, you know, that she wouldnt want me, mr. sexy, in the mix, and I suspect that the guys are ones who decided this. Then..what? what am I talking about. I don’t even know her and she is totally drunk. And now im dissapointed that im not involved? And im tired. And I have to sleep in the hot, uncomfortable car.
SO they left me.
I didnt get much sleep. So many emotions were swimming inside me. Anger, jealousy, disbelief. I took a walk along the river, over to a convenient store, making lists in my head of all the reasons these guys are not my friends and are liers. At 11:00 they finally come out of the Love hotel, rested and happy. I mean, after they dropped the girl off they actually gave each other high fives in the car. "Man that was so great!"
“Wasn’t tonight fun?” GJ asked me. “no, it wasn’t very fun” I said. We discuses the entire situation the whole ride home.GJ asked me “why aren’t you happy we scored?”I laugh at it all now. "Dont worry, david. next time we go to takamatsu we will help you score." These guys...i told them i dont really care about scoring. they looked at me in disbelief.
The conversation and the drive cooled me down. I concluded that I learned a lot and it was a very good experience.

And It was. I mean, first of all, I got to experience all these old-school emotions. I got to watch them arrive naturally inside me. One funny moment was at the club at around 4 AM when i got bored. After 6 house of dancing ot the same beat, I sat down on a sofa and felt bored. but the boredom was something I haven’t experienced in a long time. SO, it was a fascinating feeling. I was like “hey, what’s this? I think it is boredom. Yes. Im feeling boredom right now.” So, I became fascinated with the feeling of boredom and, well, you can already imagine that this did not help the boredom survive for long. Same thing with the anger I felt in the car and during my walk to the convenient store. I decided to do a trantric anger practice where I open all my inner doors and let the anger flow in freely, filling me up, until I am a being made of pure anger. I am anger manifested, and my silent scream rattles the entire universe, and my heat creates a thousand hells.
And that was fun. I mean, the funny thing about anger is that it needs the object of anger in order to survive. And as soon as you bring your attention to the anger itself, it just kind of dissolves into itself and fades, no longer fuled by anything.
I had a good time being with, meeting, and inviting in all my old and new emotions and thoughts. It’s like I was creatively detached from them, watching them arise in the space that I am, and watching them dissolve with time, like clouds in the sunshine. It was a great party in my presence. cheezy, i know, but true.

I have recently had many other opportunities to watch these emotions come and go. Stress involving my family's upcoming wedding. The sadness of watching friends leave (last night I said goodbye to Jackie, who was my first and best friend in niihama.)I think of gandhi's saying "there are no goodbyes for us."
But the other night in Takamatsu… What an adventure. I won’t forget that night for a while. Oh, and after we finally got back to niihama, I had Shun drop me off at the station and I took a train to Doi to pick up Jackie’s present, got home, gave it to her, and then finally laid (or is it lied)down for a quick nap before meeting Jesse for dinner to say goodbye to him too. While eating okonomiyaki, two cockroaches walked along the wall, and he told me this Mark Twain quote.

“An adventure is something you wish wasn’t happening at the time." Fuck im going to miss that guy a lot.


Lau said...

i felt like i saw a slice of your adolescence in that story, for some reason... you're a precious being. i will send you an email with more of what i'm thinking.

David said...

David, your blogs, be them good or bad, they are always positive in body. Just like you. So positive.

TrixSta said...

Yay, you didn't put it in, I was reading cautiously...just in case. I TOTALLY am sorry, I didn't realize that Monday night was your last night with Jackie....I wouldn't have stayed so long, even though I enjoyed myself so much.......Isn't it strange of that beautiful girl, to be sitting in a car, contemplating how many of the boys in the car she was going to have sex with that night? Or did she? and thinking, hmm I don't know him that well.... did she feel bad??? like you were left out???

Rick Winfrey said...

Have you noticed how much your photographs have inspired and influenced me?? I should be the one thanking you for the inspiration - for showing me the beauty in the first place.

Your story, what is there besides the bare laying down of emotion that grabs one's eyes with such force? Honesty of the kind that all humans share - a form of humility that is at once a teaching and a practice, would be my answer. Your story has both, bare laying down of emotion, and insightful and beneficial humility. Thank you.

May all beings be Free and in Love.

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